Walk With A Waddle

I’m a petite brunette who has a tall thin boyfriend. We had gone our separate ways in Walmart wanting to make the trip in and out quicker. My tummy was upset from the night before of Mexican food and margaritas. As I cruised the aisles getting this and that, I felt a fart coming on. Usually just mild squeakers, I was surprised when the fart trumpeted out, followed by a warm sensation! I had crapped a little and felt more bubbling up for blast off. I squeezed my butt cheeks together as tight as I could and started to penguin walk in a shuffling kind of way to find my boyfriend, Joe. I could feel an explosion coming on and was frantic to find Joe who I knew would help me get somewhere that I would be less embarrassed. I spotted him at the end of an aisle and started to shuffle double-time towards him. Unfortunately little bubbles of poo were working their way out from between my super squeezed together backside. As I got closer I hissed “JOE! JOE!!!” Shuffling up to him I grabbed his elbow and hissed “JOE! I shit my pants!” You can imagine the tall, thin stranger’s horror when he spun around to see who had grabbed his elbow. “You’re not Joe! ” I squeaked. “No ma’am,” he said, “I reckon that is.” And it was…my Joe coming my way as fast as he could laughing his ass off at me.