Bird Is The Word

On a shopping trip, a few birds made their way into the store and were all over the place trying to scrounge up a bite to eat. They were in heaven and it was making a lot of people uncomfortable. They weren’t big birds, just little scrawny things that were actually pretty sickly looking. So they’re flying all over the place and seem to be hanging around the bakery and produce section the most. It was pretty funny to watch them land on a package of cookies and try to peck through the plastic. My wife and I just stopped and watched because we knew the real entertainment was about to begin. Several employees started gathering in the produce area, all conspiring plans to catch or kill the birds so they would stop scaring away the customers. A few were heading back from sporting goods with a fishing net and the others were “coaching” from nearby. A few missed swipes and the birds got wise by hanging out on the light fixtures over the produce. I swear I witnessed the idea formulate in this brilliant Walmart employee and then I got to watch it in action just seconds later. He thought, “I’ll throw something at it to stun it, then the guy with the net can catch it.” Then he proceeded to pick up a few bell peppers and take aim. I knew exactly what would happen before he even threw it. The bell pepper left his hand, hurled in the general direction of the bird, the bird’s natural instincts took over and without any effort, dodged the flying veggies. Having nowhere else to go, the peppers crashed into the light fixtures breaking into many pieces before hitting the ceiling, breaking into even more pieces, then raining down to the floor. He got through three attempts before I managed to stop pointing and laughing.