Hike ‘Em Up

So, I was waiting in line at Guest Services to return an item when I noticed the couple in front of me. This couple had to have been in their 50’s at least. The man was skinny and lanky, wearing jeans and a plaid long sleeve shirt. The woman was wearing a red hoodie and super saggy jeans. I noticed that the woman kept messing with the back of her jeans. Turns out, she was wearing lacy, beige granny panties and she obviously wanted people to see. She kept tugging on her jeans to make them hang lower and hiking her panties up to make them look like a thong. All while she hiked her hoodie half-way up her back AND while she squeezed her beloved’s behind. While I’m admiring this spectacle of class, the next register opened up and the 80 year old clerk called me up to make my return. Meanwhile, the couple saunter off, the lady’s hand down her pants again to hike the panties up higher, when my 80 year old clerk notices them. “She ought to be ASHAMED of herself,” my little clerk said. “Yes, well… you didn’t have to stand behind them in line.”