Bathroom Buds

A few years ago I was doing a little shopping at the local Wal-Mart (which happens to be the busiest in our Metro area). I try to avoid Wal-Mart at all costs, but sometimes you have no choice but to stop in and fight the crowds. Now if there’s anything I try to avoid MORE than Wal-Mart, it’s the Wal-Mart ladies room but again…sometimes you just gotta go, and the Sonic Route 44 cherry limeade I’d been sipping all afternoon had to go. As luck would have it, I ended up following an employee in. Just as I get the stall door locked I hear “Hey, what’s up?” I’m thinking “uhhh, is she talking to me?” then heard her continue talking – she was on her cell phone! I kinda chuckle to myself, amused that she was on her phone. Then I hear what can only be described as her groaning with effort…while still on the phone. At this point, I’m trying to pee as fast as I possibly can all the while being treated to a play by play of what’s going on in the other stall. She’s telling the person on the other end of the phone about how she’s been constipated for days and is FINALLY going and how bad it hurts (I’ll spare you the graphic descriptions). I wanted to die laughing but was too busy holding my breath against the horrible smell she was producing. So after I finish my shopping, I go to checkout. Imagine my horror when I realize the cashier is the lady from the bathroom!