Perfumaniac

I needed to go to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things, and decided to take my 2 year old daughter with me. Earlier that day she had doused herself in my perfume, but I didn’t have time to give her a bath before we left, so when we arrived at Wal-Mart she reeked of Versace Crystal perfume. 10 minutes into our trip after cruising a few of the aisles and putting items in the cart, we came to the baking goods. I was selecting some nice raisins from the shelf when a gangster wannabe (dressed all in white, chains, hat on sideways with a bandana underneath it, skater shorts, and sneakers) wedged himself between my cart and the shelving apparatus. I said to my daughter “Oh, I guess this guy needs to get in here, lets move the cart.” at which point he asks me what kind of perfume I’m wearing. I told him the story about how my daughter doused herself in my perfume before we came and that that must be what he’s smelling. Then, in an over-the-top creepy sinister voice he says “No really, what kind of perfume is it? It makes me go all *insert awkward animal noise here*.” Then things went from bad to worse when he said “I’m going to be honest with you, I’ve been following you since the frozen food aisle, and I just wanted to see if you were wearing a ring or not.” At this point I plucked my daughter out of the cart and left the store.