Go Outside
Sometimes I wish I could find the nerd at Apple and ask him why he thought the poo emoji was so important to put out there into the world and yet I still have to send people a cartoon eggplant? North Carolina More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, Products, RandomThe Poo-Guy
Ah yes, the floating poo emoji, for everyone that wants to recreate the pool scene in Caddyshack. Unknown More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, RandomThe Muffin Man
Feel bad for the employee that gets to mop up his brain fluid after he goes head over heels. It’s tough enough to walk in that place without injury. Unknown More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, RandomGoing To The Chapel
It must be proposal season with all these engagement photos flooding our inbox. This keeps us Walmart is going to start putting in Las Vegas style chapels and make even more money. Unknown More
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in Featured Creature, Florida, Funny, RandomMake My Day
I see a Wal-Wedding in the future. May they enjoy a long happy life filled with countless hours of braiding each other’s hair! Florida More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, Oklahoma, RandomBye Bye Birdie
How every old guy feels inside at all times…Now get off my lawn. Oklahoma More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, RandomGood Night
Sometimes I’m amazed at the efforts people will make to take a nap. Ask them to check in the back for something and that’s too much to do, but figuring out a place to catch a few zzz’s on the job is no problem. Unknown More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, Random, TexasAdded Height
How’s the air up there? Lonely and virgin-like? Oh. Sorry to hear that. Texas More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, RandomSay No To The Toe
In today’s episode of Tales From the Walmart Crypt, I lose my shit and quit life. Unknown More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, RandomFruit By The Funk
They don’t call them Fruit of the Loom for nothing. Unknown More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, RandomWorth Dyeing For
Things I’ve learned in the past week or two: If you’re on the run, don’t stop at Walmart. No matter how convenient, it’s like the first stop they look at. Don’t dye your hair there, don’t shop for groceries with the teenager you kidnapped. You’re going to be seen. Unknown More
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in Featured Creature, Funny, RandomKids…
That’s basically how I see other people’s children anyway. Unknown More
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